I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
