Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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