i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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