I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
