Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And then my night got REAL pukey
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