Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
