Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
