Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
