Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
