We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
