When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
