what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
