don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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