You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
