I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
