I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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