check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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