So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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