We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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