Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
