Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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