come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
