I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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