i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
