I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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