Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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