So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
