I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
