Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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