What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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