you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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