I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
