I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
