it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
