Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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