I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
