You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
