i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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