yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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