we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
