Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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