he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize