..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
