I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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