yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
