I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
