I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
