was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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