There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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