I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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