Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
someone owes me an orgasm
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
