party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
