He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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