if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize