doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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