Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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