I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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