I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
