i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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