Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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