I'm gonna have a badass scar
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can I color on your dick again?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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