My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
