there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
