So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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