Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
