im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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